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Stars explained: * A production of no real merit
with failings in all areas. ** A production showing evidence of not
enough time or effort, or even talent, and which never breathes any real
life into the piece – or a show lumbered with a terrible script. *** A
good enjoyable show which might have some small flaws but has largely
achieved what it set out to do.**** An excellent show which shows a
great deal of work and stage craft with no noticeable or major
flaws.***** A four star show which has found that extra bit of magic
which lifts theatre to another plane. |
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Front: Rod Bissett as Sam (left), Sara Bissett as Rosie and Esther Horton as an unconscious Edna Stricken thanks to the leather clad Tracy, played by Abby Simpson with Tommy, (left) played by Jill Simkin and Carl Horton's Maurice in the rear. FlatSpin Grange Playhouse **** So, Rosie, an out of work Finnish actress, whose last role was playing a rabbit in The Princess and the Pea in some place in Somerset even the people who live there have never heard of, has ended up as a janitor in a fashionable riverside docklands apartment. Her janitorial experience is limited, let's say somewhere around none, but her uncle had the job and is now being kept in hospital for observation after a car accident. Add to that it is a Bank Holiday so the letting agent can't find a temp and Rosie, played in a sort of Scandinavian sing-song accent by Sara Bissett, was around and available . . . The agent is Annette Sefton-Wilcox, which seems a long winded name, but once you meet her, delightfully played by Sam Allan, you realise long winded is more than appropriate. She talks as other people breathe, endlessly, with a steady line of what she, and nobody else, calls jokes. Her instructions given, she vanishes to leave Rosie sort of in charge for the duration, at least until the Bank Holiday is over, carrying out her duties by watering the plants in a flat owned by a certain Joanna Rupelford. The apartment is 3c and the owner is a woman who, it seems, is never there, has never actually been seen and works abroad . . . something in oil according to the agent.
Sam Allan as Annette Sefton-Wilcox of the management company and Sara Bissett as Rosie All pretty mundane, one might even say boring, until Sam Berryman, who lives next door in 3b, arrives to introduce himself. Sam, played by Rod Bissett, talks at warp speed, he doesn't so much have conversations as engulf people in his own tsunami of words in a remarkable performance of verbal gymnastics. Amid his waffling about seeing the Millennium Dome, Tower Bridge and the river, it becomes fairly obvious he is falling in love, or lust, take your pick, with Rosie, who, being caught in the apartment, decides the best thing to do is pretend she is Joanna Rupelford, so randy Sam offers to return that evening to cook her dinner with gnocchi on the menu . . . gnocchi, or nookie with a Helsinki accent . . . ah, well . . . so, that's the romantic comedy bit sorted. Then there is the mysterious visitor looking for Mrs Hall (Who she? Dunno) who is sent on her way by Rosie or Joanna, whichever she was at that point. The mysterious woman was to return later as Edna Sticken, played by Esther Horton, as a sort of door-to-door cosmetics demonstrator and saleswoman – a sort of ding dong, Avun (sic) calling, nudge nudge, sort of thing. Initially the sending of Edna on her way was in danger of jeopardising a multi-million-pound gang smashing operation by . . . we never did find out, but as it had budgets, expense accounts and lots of bureaucracy it had to be something to do with the Government. But back to Sam and Rosie or Joanna, take your pick, who were just off to the bedroom for a bit of gnocchi . . . sorry, nookie, when Sam was called away leaving Rosie or Joanna off the nook, so to speak. To add to the confusion, enter Maurice, played by Carl Horton, who was in charge of the teams involved in the . . . whatever crime busting caper it was, but it involved three teams, hidden microphones and secret cameras. He is the good cop, good being a relative term here, with the leather clad, Emma Peel style Tracy, played with a sort of hair trigger angst by Abby Simpson, the bad cop, or more "cop that sunshine!" in her case.
Rod Bissett (left) as Sam with Jill Simkin as Tommy, Carl Horton as Maurice and Sara Bissett as Rosie With the operation about to go up in smoke, Sam, who it seems has a problem in the groin department, as in not being able to keep it in his pants, is called back to persuade Rosie to carry on as Joanna to trap Edna in a sting that involves three quarters of a million in readies. To reassure Rosie she is safe Tommy played wth kicks and chops by Jill Simkin, is brought in as protection, ex-SAS Tommy, although we only have her word for it. To prove her worth, she invites Rosie to try to hit her with a truncheon to illustrate her lightning reflexes. As a test, let us say there is room for improvement when her consciousness returns. The operation still goes swimmingly though, a stunning success, more or less, so Sam and Rosie finally make it to the bedroom for gnocchi (they are actually married in real life before fingers are pointed) and Maurice and Tracy reveal a relationship we never guessed which is strengthened by . . . now that would be telling and after all it was a secret operation, FlatSpin is a departure for Alan Ayckbourn; dating from 2001, it is the middle play in his Damsels in Distress trilogy, but happy to stand alone. His plays are known for probing and dissecting relationships with analytical precision, poking often cruel fun at idiosyncrasies and frailties, ridiculing social mores, as seen in his trilogy of The Norman Conquests or plays such as A Chorus of Disapproval. There are dark moments in many of his plays and traits that can come uncomfortably close to home, but, here, all that is forgotten and we are given elements of farce, comedy for comedy's sake and all with no probing, no psychology, no exposing the dark underbelly of the human psyche, just pure fun and entertainment. The plot is perhaps not one to analyse too closely, just go with the flow as Ayckbourn has a playful dig at crime dramas and thrillers, and while the humour can be broad at times, it avoids being smutty or crude - think Donald McGill postcards - in short it is just plain old fun The set from director Lucy Talbot and Sara and Rod Bissett provides a suitable, riverside apartment and the director, on a commendable directorial debut has kept up a cracking pace with the story zipping along from laugh to laugh aided by an excellent cast. The MI(?), special branch, national crime . . . whoever they are, operation runs to 20-09-25. Roger Clarke 12-09-25 |
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